Self Respect

“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” Max Ehrmann in Desiderata. That sentence indicates that there are two sides to self-respect. It’s the dichotomy of Self-discipline and self-love. You have certain responsibilities to yourself. Acting in your own best interests are not only beneficial, they’re a way of being prepared, as much as you can be, for life.
In that perspective, one must develop a good relationship with oneself. Sometimes, you have to be the tough guy or the parent inside. prompting yourself to “do it now” or “make it happen”. In that way logic supersedes emotion, doesn’t it? We all know what putting things off feels like. Procrastination turns into a ticking clock when it can’t be put off any longer.
The ‘why’ should be obvious by now. If you don’t, you fail yourself. That’s not healthy. Ignoring your own responsibilities to yourself lowers self-esteem. That realization can lead to worse very quickly. Depression or malaise, that dragging feeling, can make life feel miserable.
There is something to looking good that picks spirits up. Are you on good terms with your mirror, or does it scare you each time you look at it? Mine does, every morning when I wake up. That motivates me to do something about the monster I’m facing. It brings self-improvement into play. It pays to focus on one disaster at a time. Each small success is better than trying to handle every flaw at once. It’s funny, kind of... but, not really.
This is where many of us lose objectivity. In the act of ‘fixing’ ourselves, do we lose the image of self, or confuse it with society norms? Are we improving on ourselves, or are we trying to put on a mask to become someone else? Each of us is different, unique in our own skin. We’re all different on the inside too. That viewpoint makes self-care a battle that doesn’t need to be fought.
Now, let’s focus in the inner you. First, how do you feel right after you wake up? Is it a brand new day, or does it feel like just another slog through the same old routine? Compare that to the mood you adopt for the day. Is it self-imposed or is it hopeful? The answers could signal something deep inside that needs work. The objective is to feel good about yourself. That might require a few slight changes in perspective.
Everyone needs to make a living. You’re not the only one who’s struggling. One of my little tricks was to place the alarm on the other side of the bedroom. I’d have to get up to turn it off. Once I was on my feet, I could easily resist hitting that oh, so tempting snooze button. Another tip: Find something small to change or embellish your clothing. A lapel pin or a tie tac, perhaps. Pin on buttons are fun. I have one that reads “Coffee First.” Be original.
Being in good spirits is self-care. That’s the gentle part. A bit of advice that served me well: “Do the hardest thing first.” Get that monster out of the way. The rest of the day will seem easier to handle. Being prepared for each day has positive results. I’d rather thank my earlier self than feel that I’ve let myself down.
Above and beyond all of that; “Like the man said, don’t take life too serious, doc. You’ll never get out of it alive.” Bugs Bunny, quoting Elbert Hubbard
Yours Truly,
A Student of Life